The Inner Thoughts Of A Horse On Lockdown

Nine inner thoughts of a mummy's boy who's been "abandoned" during lockdown...

"Okay, what is she playing at? Four weeks ago I was eventing fit and I KNOW that the first BE of the season was soon, I had crossed the days off on my calendar and everything. I was even pointing my toes more during flatwork to lull her into a false sense of security that we might get better dressage marks this season (hee hee hee). So why didn't we go? I was REEEADDYYYY TO PAAARTAAAAY!!"

"Something isn't right, usually I can't get rid of her and she's super annoying but now she's only coming to see me once a day AND I'm not getting enough treats OR scratches because she's rushing around doing jobs and ignoring me. What. the. hell."

"I think I hear her car... OMG SHE'S HERE NEEEIGGGHHHHH I'M SO HAPPY YAY. Actually, I'm super mad, I'm going to put my ears back and let her know how bitter I am about this unfair abandonment".

"NOT ONLY are we not going eventing, but she's also not even riding me anymore. She better not be pregnant."

"Oh, hey, you're not my mum? I'm sorry I won't come with you, I cannot and will not go anywhere with anyone who is not my mum. Wait... is that a carrot???"

"Okay so I'm not sure if she told you but I get 10 scoops of mix twice a day AND I usually need 4 hay nets and just leave the bag of carrots in the corner too...just in case."

"I heard someone say something about 'lockdown', I really hope they aren't talking about the feed..."

"I don't need her. I'm an independent man now, she just embarrasses me in front of my friends anyway. Yes, much better off without her. OMG I can't sleep without my bedtime kisses. MUUUUUUM IM SORRRRY!!"

"It's been 1000 days of this "lockdown" and I'm not sure my girth will fasten anymore. Am I retired? Do I just get to eat grass and be fat now? What day is it? Who do I trust to tell me the truth?? I'm not sure I can go on in this cruel life anymore... oh look, more hay. YAY, MY LIFE IS THE BEST MOST AMAZING EVER!"

by Woody aka. SuperCob (who hasn't really been abandoned, regardless of what he says!)